Birthday Madness & Shenanigans
The calendar pages turned quickly, and suddenly we were juggling birthdays, anniversaries, and a house overflowing with family. November seemed to move at warp speed. Life in Ashgabat never stops.
First on the docket were two birthdays. (Fun fact: counting back roughly nine months lands you on Valentine’s Day—guess we know what they were up to!)
First was a birthday for one of Amirra’s dear friends, and we were lucky enough to escape the famously over-the-top Turkmen birthday—think animators, dessert bars, even fish as party favors. This friend happened to be American, so the celebration was sweet and low-key at their apartment. The kids had a blast, even squeezing in some Demon Hunter karaoke.
Next up was Duston’s birthday, celebrated with a night out with friends. He waited two hours for birthday sushi while everyone else ate (they did comp him the sushi), followed by a night out drinking with “the boys.”
Wedding Dresses, Crowns, & What Even Is a Kurte?
👑 Wedding Wonders:
Tried on a jeweled headpiece that made me feel like royalty.
Draped in a Kurte that’s equal parts storybook cape and armor against evil eyes.
Fun fact: brides here can wear 3–5 dresses, each more over-the-top than the last.
Honestly, I half expected a royal parade to follow us out of the palace.
Soon after his birthday—because we planned poorly 15 years ago—came our anniversary. We spent the day on a multi-stop tour of Ashgabat, starting at the marriage palace, where we admired stunning traditional Turkmen wedding dresses and attire. I was even lucky enough to try on the traditional şaý‑sepler headpiece, made of silver or gold and adorned with precious or semi-precious stones in intricate patterns. Its designs reflect the bride’s family history, lineage, social standing, and honor. The ornamentation also serves as talismans, intended to protect the bride and ward off negative energies. It is a rich and beautiful piece of cultural history.
I was also privileged to try on the Kurte, worn by Turkmen brides when visiting their husband’s home for the first time. This richly embroidered cape or robe is layered over the wedding dress and is meant to shield the bride from negative energies. The embroidery is deeply symbolic: patterns often represent fertility, abundance, wellbeing, and the “tree of life.” It’s not merely decorative (though it is stunning); it tells a story about hopes for the marriage and the life ahead.
This was the best way I could have possibly spent our Anniversary; Learning about how another culture celebrates the same ideas-having that person that you choose to go through life with. It brought everything back into focus; how we made the leap to choose this lifestyle to learn about other people, other cultures and what they hold dear, to learn about rituals and customs from other peoples from another time and another place. There is no better way to honor your own that to learn about and respect others’. One thing remains the same in every culture; searching for and celebrating finding that person in your life. In Ashgabat and in Tennessee, love means the same thing.
Like everything here, weddings are over the top. Brides often wear three to five dresses, each more gorgeous than the last. I found it fascinating that in this city of stark white—where even cars must be white—the wedding dresses were vibrant, every color of the rainbow. Even the reception dresses that resembled what Americans might expect were soft shades of pink, blue, or gold, so subtle that they appear white at first glance. These gowns looked like something royalty would wear. This look at life in Ashgabat is usually reserved for the locals.
Hiking Adventures & Military Shouts
After our deep dive into Turkmen weddings, we turned our attention to a few more Ashgabat highlights. We drove up into the mountains to see the Telecommunications Tower—mostly because I stare at it up in the mountains every day on my way to work and my curiosity finally won. The views from above were nothing short of spectacular. Another view of living in Turkmenistan’s Capital.
🏔️ Health Walk Snapshot:
Even a small section gives epic city views—but beware of military shout-outs if you get too curious!
There’s also a Health Walk just behind the building—a concrete path running along the Kopet Dag mountains south of Ashgabat, about 36 km in total. It’s split into an 8 km “Leader’s Trail” and a 28 km longer section. (Bonus points if you can find the Health Walk in the background of my first two photos from the mountains!) At one time, ministers and officials were required to walk it annually (this ended around 2006). The path is mostly stairs as it follows the mountain ridges, so your cardio and your calves better be top-notch. Parts of it are visible from all over the city, even Nisa (more on that in the next blog post).
Driven by insatiable curiosity, I’ve always wanted to hike some (not all!) of it. This outing presented an unexpected opportunity. Near the Telecommunications Tower, a section lies just 20 feet from the parking lot. Of course, we hopped the fence and tried to climb to the top—only about 200 feet away—but were immediately stopped by angry military guards shouting in a language we didn’t understand. Apparently, the tower was built after the Health Walk, making this area off-limits.
Ironically, a group of foreigners—clearly identifiable by their backpacks, sunburns, and large bellies—was just ahead of us. They made it to the top (we could hear the guards shouting at them too), but never came back down our side. I still wonder what happened. Did they make it past? Were they held for questioning? Did they have to turn around and walk 12 miles back the way they came?- Curiosity is still killing me!
Marriage, Madness & Moving Abroad
Duston and I have had fifteen years of practice putting up with each other. There’s been no shortage of rough patches over that decade and a half—and to be fully honest, we still have difficult moments. Sometimes the struggle is too real and one or both of us feels like giving up. Sometimes marriage is a chore. But marriage isn’t just the good times; walking through the bad times together is sometimes harder than walking away. Either way, we are still here, looking for our next adventure together.
Moving abroad solo, let alone with children and a husband in tow, is not for the faint of heart. This lifestyle has a way of magnifying every flaw—but it also brings you closer, as you unite to navigate all the unfamiliar challenges and uncertainties. For now we are crossing these hurdles while living our lives in Ashgabat.
Turkey (Or Chicken) Day & Friendsgiving Fun
🐔🍷 Potluck Chaos & Laughter:
Roast chicken vs turkey, wine that keeps disappearing, stories spilling everywhere.
A reminder: the holiday isn’t about perfection—it’s about showing up, sharing laughs, and leaving your heart (and a little wine) on the table.
Thanksgiving quickly followed that same week (remember our poor planning?). This year looked very different from our usual celebrations. I was able to eat lunch with Amirra at school, but poor Drake had to fly solo. We opted out of a full family Thanksgiving—it had been a busy week.
We did, however, have a Friendsgiving with two of our favorite couples we’ve met on this crazy adventure. Both are from the States and both ended up in Turkmenistan for their first international teaching postings. We quickly connected and wondered why it took moving across the world—literally—to find each other. Everyone brought something, making it more of a potluck than a traditional Thanksgiving (roast chicken instead of turkey). Wine bottles were emptied, replaced, and then added to the growing collection. Stories were told, and cups were filled—both literally and figuratively. It was a warm reminder of how important it is to share yourself with friends.
Jingle Bells & Tiny Men in Ties
We still had a few weeks of school before winter break, but it all came and went in a blur. Winter musicals were quite the ordeal. Amirra gave a heartwarming rendition of Jingle Bells with her classmates. She was so excited to see her dad in the audience that she spent much of the song waving to him and nearly missed all her “jumping cues”—but she was absolutely adorable.
The next night was Drake’s turn. He was outfitted in new clothes, including pants actually tailored to fit his short legs, and his first-ever dress shirt and tie. It was nearly too much for me. For the first time, my mom-heart had to confront the reality that my first baby is nearly a man. I was simultaneously proud and devastated. He was so handsome. His class’s songs were, truthfully, a little rough around the edges—imagine twenty twelve-year-olds dressed in their best, singing for family. It went exactly as you’d expect. Drake managed a little stage presence and even smiled a few times (remarkable if you know him). He looked like he was finally finding himself—in Ashgabat, of all places.
Heels, Dresses & Turkmen Dance Moves
Somewhere in there, we had our staff Christmas party. Duston decided to sit this one out. I dressed up in my fanciest dress (last worn around a bonfire at DH 🐲—if you know, you know), added my matching heels—never worn before—and danced the night away, Turkmen style. My thighs ached for days afterward, but it was a fabulous time with fabulous people. Certainly a night to remember.
Grandmas, Elves & Chaos
Finally, the day came—right in the middle of the week—that the grandmas arrived. Thankfully, it was a short week at school. The kids got to play hooky the next morning they arrived, because I knew they would be useless in class. Since then, life has been a blur of celebrating the family being back together (well, most of us—a few important members will have to wait until summer), sightseeing, translating all over again, and battling jet lag.
☕🎄 Morning Mayhem:
Walk into the kitchen for coffee—BAM! Grandma’s already there.
Amirra refuses to let go for twenty minutes.
Step three: hunting those mischievous elves before breakfast.
Verdict: best chaotic morning ever.
We’ve visited the big mall that resembles a top-tier American shopping center, the larger “Ashgabat-style” mall, and we have plans to visit the bazaar soon. Hopefully, we can also fit in Nisa and a few other must-see spots. Christmas is coming next week, and although our tree is small, it is already surrounded by gifts and family. What more could you ask for?
Holiday Surprises & Life in Ashgabat
This season looks nothing like we imagined — and everything like the life we chose.
Loud, colorful, exhausting, and full — and still, we stay. Still, we turn the page.
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